I don’t know if you know the tune which accompanies the song ‘she’ll be coming round the mountain when she comes’, but it will help if you do. It will also help if you are acquainted with some of the traditions which accompany ‘Burns Night’ suppers – like the one enjoyed by Bahrain Caledonion Society last night. If you know what the word ‘halal’ implies, then you will fully appreciate the following little anecdote.
A group was planning an early celebration of the life of Robert Burns, as everyone was leaving the hotel in Dubai at an inconvenient time: Burns night itself. So, a week before the traditional supper would typically be enjoyed, a small, select group were attempting to not only source tartan material; even napkins would do, but to educate the staff of said hotel in the appropriate Caledonian fare which would be enjoyed on the happy occasion.
Turnips and potatoes, predictably, presented little challenge, thus ‘neeps ‘n’ tatties’ were guaranteed to be on the menu. Scottish tablet was a bit of a mystery to the assorted chefs, but a recipe was sourced and the difference between tablet and fudge explained. Scotch broth was a piece of cake. The difficulty was the haggis: halal haggis, forsooth! It simply could not be found in Dubai.
One of the group had brought his bagpipes from home and was not to be thwarted as he had planned to ‘pipe in the haggis’, to the traditional ‘A man’s a man for a’ that’. Another was determined to carry the offering on the traditional silver salver behind the piper. As we all sat down for the supper, sans halal haggis, glum faces were evident.
However, one of the group began to hum the tune referred to above, and then brought in the libretto, ‘oh, there’s no halal haggis in Dubai’, (it scans perfectly, just try it) and soon the table was singing lustily, even with a harmony thrown in from one especially musical member of the group. Other verses followed, being extemporised on the spot, with ‘oh, the Scotch broth is really awfu’ good’, and ‘oh, you canna beat a piece of Scottish tablet’. The mood lifted and the assemblage was asked to prepare themselves for the piping in of a ‘virtual’ haggis.
Within moments, the pipes were squeakily prepared, the salver located and a lump of the main course (I think it was a hearty beef pie) placed upon it. The Selkirk Grace was spoken and the virtual halal haggis was duly piped in, with much clapping and appreciation from the revellers.
What with a quiz on the works of Robert Burns, with the winner achieving a magnificent score of 3 out of a possible 25, several renditions of ‘I love a lassie’, ‘auld lang syne’ and a new one to me, ‘ae fond kiss’, we were well set for the finishing touch: the athell brose. If you have never tried this ambrosia, then you have been missing out on one of life’s pleasures.
It just shows, though, what you can do, even without the main ingredient. A great time was had by all, despite the lack of a halal haggis.
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